Did I announce vinegar for lying, when we got home? Yes, but that’s standard practice; though he hasn’t experienced it in awhile, he wasn’t surprised at the news.

Did I decree that he couldn’t play with friends or do anything else at church last night? No, his Dad did that.

So imagine my surprise at hearing “Mom, you are RUINING my childhood.”

Now I must go ruin his morning. It’s time for him to work on grammar and he’s sure there’s no point to it.

Nov

By Tammi

No Comments

Categories: Critters, Home, Humor

Cricket advertising

I went to buy crickets for my turtles. Instead of waiting for a salesperson to get some from the bin, I saw a “Bug Box” and just bought them that way. I didn’t even see the advertising until I got home –

Plump juicy morsels in stay fresh exoskeletons!

The classic cricket experience… crunchy outside, soft and chewy inside.

On the company’s website (www.ebugco.com), they say

The most convenient route to gut-loaded, calcium enriched crickets.

I have to get a t-shirt.

Jun

By Tammi

No Comments

Categories: Children, Humor

Funny conversation

Christa is A’s 7 yr old friend…

Christa: “I know something else you can do with fireflies.”

Dolly: “What?”

Christa: “You can take off their bottoms and use them to make a light-up necklace.”

Jun

By Tammi

No Comments

Categories: Children, Humor

Dolly comments from vacation

She had some pinkish places where sunscreen had rubbed off. She said “I have some miniature sunburns.”

Two girls were playing with a volleyball on the beach. Dolly said, “That lady almost bonked me with that ball. You don’t see ladies doing THAT everyday.”

We went to Medieval Times, where our drink choices were water, coffee and Pepsi. Dolly asked Kevin, “Did they have Pepsi back then?” He told her they didn’t. “Then if we can have Pepsi, why can’t we have forks and spoons?”

The next-to-last day of vacation — “Days go by FAST here!”

After two+ hours aboard an aircraft carrier at Patriot’s Point, “My feet don’t like me anymore.”

A few weeks ago I received this letter; the end result of which, is that Kisa has two dog boys coming to visit her soon. She would be ecstatic if she understood what we’ve been telling her about it, as she LOVES them.

Dear Aunt Tammi and Uncle Kevin,

Please let us know – we think it is simply horrible that Mommy and Daddy are leaving us behind.

Sincerely, Bentley and Charlie Culpepper

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Having slept most of the afternoon, Brendon was bored late Sunday night. He took a series of “bored” pictures and made a photo album on Facebook. Celeste wrote the following review and sent him some fan mail.

‘Just want to say I’m a big fan of the “Bored” series of photographs by up-and-comer Brendon Mossman. His work has a style and pathos which is so true to the title. I am especially moved by “Bored With a Chain.” I eagerly await his next offering.’

:~p

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Several of my great-uncles used phrases like these all the time — not because they felt superior, but because they were incurable teases and there were several familial “good targets.”

Can you add to the list?

***********

A taco short of a combination plate

Not the brightest bulb in the marquee

A few dimes short of a dollar

Not the sharpest crayon in the box

Not the sharpest tool in the shed

A few bricks short of a load

A few peas short of a casserole

The lights are on, but nobody is home

A few sandwiches short of a picnic

A few olives short of a martini

A few fries short of a happy meal

The elevator doesn’t go all the way up

Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier

Ain’t enough chlorine in that gene pool

Too bad the gene pool doesn’t have lifeguards

Sharp as a marble

The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead

Doesn’t have both oars in the water

A few Bradys short of a bunch

The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming

Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down

Another brain would be lonely

If you stand close enough to them you can hear the sea

Not the quickest bunny in the forest

If you gave them a penny for thoughts, you’d get change

The driveway doesn’t quite reach the road

Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel

Not playing with a full deck

If brains were dynamite, he wouldn’t have enough to blow his nose

A mind is a terrible thing to waste — good to know she’s saving hers

He’s a butter knife in a steak world

A few clowns short of a circus

Has a natural talent for finding subliminal messages in ice cubes

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*A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. ******************** *If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

********************

*Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

HA! Some of you thought I was going to start talking about garlic… but that’s another post.

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After we heard the latest verse, Aislynn told me, “Mom, you gave birth to a healthy and handsome, but VERY disgusting boy.”

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Dolly was playing with a cat and got a scratch… “Toffee, use that paw for good and not evil!”

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Did I suggest that he use a pen and draw a mustachio and goatee on a baby doll during class last night? Nope.

Related Posts:

I went to buy crickets for my turtles. Instead of waiting for a salesperson to get some from the bin, I saw a “Bug Box” and just bought them that way. I didn’t even see the advertising until I got home –

Plump juicy morsels in stay fresh exoskeletons!

The classic cricket experience… crunchy outside, soft and chewy inside.

On the company’s website (www.ebugco.com), they say

The most convenient route to gut-loaded, calcium enriched crickets.

I have to get a t-shirt.

Related Posts:

Christa is A’s 7 yr old friend… Christa: “I know something else you can do with fireflies.” Dolly: “What?” Christa: “You can take off their bottoms and use them to make a light-up necklace.”

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Etsy shop

Reminders…

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*A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

********************

*If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

Christa is A’s 7 yr old friend…

Christa: “I know something else you can do with fireflies.”

Dolly: “What?”

Christa: “You can take off their bottoms and use them to make a light-up necklace.”