Several of my great-uncles used phrases like these all the time — not because they felt superior, but because they were incurable teases and there were several familial “good targets.”
Can you add to the list?
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A taco short of a combination plate
Not the brightest bulb in the marquee
A few dimes short of a dollar
Not the sharpest crayon in the box
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
A few bricks short of a load
A few peas short of a casserole
The lights are on, but nobody is home
A few sandwiches short of a picnic
A few olives short of a martini
A few fries short of a happy meal
The elevator doesn’t go all the way up
Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier
Ain’t enough chlorine in that gene pool
Too bad the gene pool doesn’t have lifeguards
Sharp as a marble
The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead
Doesn’t have both oars in the water
A few Bradys short of a bunch
The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming
Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
Another brain would be lonely
If you stand close enough to them you can hear the sea
Not the quickest bunny in the forest
If you gave them a penny for thoughts, you’d get change
The driveway doesn’t quite reach the road
Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
Not playing with a full deck
If brains were dynamite, he wouldn’t have enough to blow his nose
A mind is a terrible thing to waste — good to know she’s saving hers
He’s a butter knife in a steak world
A few clowns short of a circus
Has a natural talent for finding subliminal messages in ice cubes
Copyright 2010 by Tammi Mossman.
